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I was going to remove the auto-generated "Successful Installation" entry, but I sort of like it there.

This week is the summer anti-folk festival.  Always a thrill.  Last night I discovered a new favorite song writer, Charles Latham.  Charles is moving from North Carolina, to the Sixth Borough of New York.

How fortunate.  People here need to hear music like his.  It's critical of troubles that many people have to deal with in others, and actively fend off in themselves.  Or at least that *I* have to fend off.  And the songs are really good.

Everyone, be nice.

Last night I had dinner with Casey and Dan, and someone mentioned post-coital depression. I don't experience it.

Today I finishing reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, and as I finished the last page I immediately recognized a feeling of sadness within myself. I have been reading the book daily for about a week, and became very attached to the characters. I always experience a post-novel depression with such long books.

Thinking about this, I did a search and found an article mentioning post-coital depression, which advises one to "Try to avoid sudden entry without foreplay," and "Avoid jumping up immediately after orgasm and rushing off ...." The book begins with describing a character in his later years, and ends with a character abruptly departing.

I don't really have a point, but I think if I did it would be "books are sexy."

I had some train experiences.

When getting off the M train, I noticed an older man that I have seen many times before, in a different context (university I think). Gray hair, black glasses, still hip. We met eyes, recognizing each other. Then we both recognized we didn't know how we know each other. So I nodded and smiled at him. He did nothing.

NJ Transit had major delays today. I was largely unaffected, but some people were delayed two hours. When I got to Newark to change to the New York bound train, there was a lot of bustle around the train - the conductor had closed most doors. And lots of people from my train were struggling to get on. I made it on.

The conductor is telling people not to get on, because they are delaying the train. There was plenty of space on the train, lots of empty seats and standing room. Then one of the conductors starts yelling at everybody in the vestibule to get off the train. Really loudly, it was kind of scary. She was having a really intense outburst at people who were really tired and frustrated. She eventually stopped, and then a conductor gets on the loud speaker and says:

"The train is going to leave shortly. To the customers who boarded the train by holding the doors open: Congratulations. But next time you may not be able to see your family because you WILL fall, and be crushed by a train. Next time you think of doing something so STUPID you won't be so lucky.

Have a nice day."

So, in the last entry I left off with the Netherlands. However, at this point, the Huggabroomstik tour has ended. I would really like to give each city it's due, but I'm afraid I am just too far behind to really be able to do that. So, a whirlwind (yet not at all short) review of a whirlwind tour:

The Netherlands: Zoetermeer, Amsterdam, Nijdmegan, and Den Haag are the cities that the tour group stops into. I don't know if I spelled any of those cities' names correctly. The country there is very beautiful, and it appears that there as many bicycles as people. I really miss riding my bike when I see the piles and piles of bikes outside of Amsterdam bars.

The performances were a bit rough for Huggabroomstik: we were asked not to play in Nijdmegan (they weren't expecting us at all, and then they heard our soundcheck and realized we would not please the dinner crowd). The Zoetermeer audience was expecting some kind of metal I think (kids were wearing "KoRn" t-shirts). We didn't perform in Den Haag - it was a house party in a very fancy house, but the WoWz gave a great show. The Amsterdam show went all right though. I was talking to one guy afterwards who came to see us because his girlfriend was in the bar and called him saying, "There's this band, and I think they are anti folk." So he came due to his interest in that and was satisfied I think.

After The Netherlands, it was into southern Germany. At this point I was having a bit of a rough time with the trip - feeling very worn out by the schedule of everything, and sometimes a bit melancholy. But talking to some of the guys was helpful, and all was fine of course. We stayed with Sibsi's parents for two nights, in a very beautiful house. We awoke to breakfast on the table, and after finishing, lunch was brought out immediately. Much much too nice.

Sibsi grew up near Stuttgart, and my cousin, Natalie, came with her boyfriend, Bernhart, to our performance there. So great to speak with her. She visited my family several times while growing up, and I had not seen her for five years. She lives just outiside of Munich, not two hours drive from Stuttgart. We made plans for me to visit her there once the tour was completed.

We also performed in Deggingen, at Pep's house. Pep is Christine's mother. Deggingen is a little village set in a valley (or so it seemed to me). We showed up there and went for a walk up the hill/mountain to a beautiful church. I have photos, but have not yet gotten them onto a computer unfortunately, so they'll be up later. It was really calming to stand high up on a hill, looking down on the village, a collection of red roofed houses.

That performance was the last one Huggabroomstik had with Neil. He had to go back to the states to attend a wedding. It's unfortunate, as the next show was an epic spectacle for Huggabroomstik. In Darmstadt, there is a mansion called the Oetinger Villa. Beautiful old building, large open spaces. Sibsi had been describing it to us as the "punk rock mansion", which I find to be accurate. I don't know who is reading this, but if you are a musician who intends to tour Germany, you must must must try to go here. The folks there are very friendly, cooked us a meal, afterwards we were given a room to sleep in with bedding. Everything you could want. It's late and I'm tired, so I can't give too much detail, but the Huggabroomstik show included Dashan's guitar finally giving in to the beating it's taken: the headstock broke off. Me trying to sing all of Neil's parts. Sam James on additional percussion and vocals. Me dancing during Automatron (Dashan played the working guitar). HiKool on electric guitar. And for the finale, Dashan jumped off the stage while singing "Throw Your Own Heart Away" and wrapped himself up in a 25 by 15 foot rug that was spread out on the floor (singing the whole time). It was also the biggest night for Huggabroomstik merchandise sales.

Leipzig seemed to be a very nice city. Chris and I liked it very much - we felt very welcome, especially after stopping into a fancy restaurant and having only coffee and watching all the food go by. Sibsi's friend, Fabrizio hosted us that night. He is so nice, and very helpful with our show. The show that night was a bit strange: after such a wild performance the previous night, it was difficult to give a knowingly calmer performance, and especially another performance without Neil. I am no Neil Kelly.

The next day saw our return to Berlin, which really felt like a homecoming, despite the fact that I had only been there a day and a half the previous week. We performed at an underground club called "West Germany" which used to be a dentist's office. Very cool place, sort of reminded me of the Glass House, except no art on the walls that was being modified constantly. Ching Chong Song had arrived, it was really great to see Dan and Julie. They are here for recording, coincidentally at the same time we returned. I did sound for the evening, except when performing, which was a lot of fun. I forgot how fun it can be to have to manage the soundboard. The WoWz gave a really great performance, as did Ching Chong Song. As for Huggabroomstik, we replaced ourselves with Secret Salamandar for the evening, which made the most since and went well considering we hadn't rehearsed any of those songs. The night ended probably around 4am, and I probably got to sleep around 5:30.

Easter Sunday, we had a brunch type meal at HiKool's apartment, eating hardboiled eggs and breadrolls with different spreads on them. Johnny and Sam were supposed to leave for the States that morning, but when they got to the airport they found out their plane didn't leave till Monday! One more show was scheduled at the King Kong Klub: solo performances by HiKool, Chris Maher, Secret Salamandar, and myself. Of course, since the WoWz were there, they performed as well. It was a great way to see off the string of performances, each night from the 4th to the 16th of April.

In the back room at the club, before we had performed, I was talking to Dashan about how ridiculous it was that we were there. I was writing up a list of songs I was interested in playing, and realized how many songs were not on the list. And earlier that day I heard him practicing songs with Simon. It was around January of 2003 that Dashan and I met, and started making up and recording songs together. And at least to me, it always seemed kind of like this silly fun thing we did. And we were always taking it more seriously, but at the rate it was going, it never seemed to be a shock to see where we were (artistically or geographically). Standing in the back room of a club thousands of miles away from home, unable to perform songs we made up three years ago because there were too many newer better ones, I was amazed with what Dashan and I had done as individuals and collaborators. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that in three years something like this trip would be happening.

That seems like a really conclusive point to end on. I'm very tired, so I will take advantage of that. I suppose I should say though, I rested and spent some time in Berlin, and am currently in Munich, with my cousin, who is spoiling me, and showing me around. More detail on all that later.

Continuing the day previously described...

In Berlin a handful of us stopped by a cafe which Sibsi has nicknamed his living room since he is there so often. Sitting in there with Johnny, Sam, Chris, and Simon revealed to me that we are pretty much annoying American visitors. I don't think we were actually irritating anyone in the room, but we could have been if we were a little bit louder. We were trying to decode menu items and joking around. Which is fine, but I've been trying to keep in mind that I'm a visitor here ever since.

That evening, we had our first performance at a place called Hotel Bar. I still haven't seen Dashan, Neil, or HiKool at this point. Herding around the 6 of us was difficult enough, and I was getting nervous about having to deal with 9. We were late for the soundcheck a couple of minutes, but so was everyone who worked at the bar.

The employees got there, some very nice folks. Bartender Julia, soundguy David. They helped us out with setting up, and giving us drinks. I had heard that European clubs are much better about treating their performers, and from that one performance it was evident that it is very true. Everyone was given four drink tickets, we had soundcheck before the show (rather than a "line check"), we had a guaranteed cut from the bar, and David was fine with letting us start and end when we wanted with no pressure.

When we started setting up, no one was in the bar. But then Neil, Dashan and HiKool showed up. So good to see everyone. After we soundchecked, I noticed I had been so focused on that, that I didn't see a bunch of people walk in. HiKool played first. He was so nervous to play, but he is so together. And hearing songs that I hadn't heard live for months was really a throwback to August. The crowd was big, at least 50 people. The WoWz were also really great, and I became thrilled to have the opportunity to see them every night. Simon and Sam are both great guitarists, and the three of them have really got their act down solid. The Huggabroomstik show was really fun, possibly out of control in the best way.

After the show we hung out in the bar for a while, and spoke with familiar and new people: Jules, Christine, Alisa and Frauke (HiKool's sister). Then everyone but Sibsi and I went to HiKool's apartment; Sibsi and I stayed at his place. We got some soup at a Turkish restaurant, and then slept. I hadn't slept since monday morning, and at 4am Wednesday I began a 10 hour slumber.

Waking at 2pm was a bit depressing, only because I haven't been waking up so late, and I really wanted to explore Berlin. But I figure I'll have time for that when I get back, so it's alright. I met Sibsi and Dashan at the cafe and had a coffee and talked with them for a bit. Dashan and I walked around for a little bit, got a snack and just talked. He hasn't been sleeping much, and was a bit stressed out because of it. We got him back to Sibsi's to take a nap, and I decided to do an errand.

As a project for the plane trip, I decided I would make a 12 page zine over the approximately 12 hour trip. I went to a copy shop and did the layout, made a master copy, and had 20 of them made. Then I went back to Sibsi's, but I couldn't figure out how to get into the apartment. Sibsi gave me the keys, and I was unlocking the outer gate, but I couldn't push it open. So I decided I'd go to the coffee shop and relax and read and write for a bit.

Yet another reminder of my visitor status - I walk into the Cafe and ask the server "Could I have a coffee with no milk?" The man is smily and round, in a way that could only be described as jolly. He was confused, and had me repeat myself, and try different languages. He obviously spoke english though. He was laughing, and was happy so I didn't offend him or anything, but I felt rude for just walking in and speaking English. Sibsi later told me that teasing English speakers is sort of a hobby for him, the cafe owner. I felt less guilty, and more aware of my behavior.

After reading I said goodbye to the jolly man, and went to Sibsi's, where I figured out how to get in. Dashan and I decided we would go see The WoWz play (tonight's show was booked without Huggabroomstik for some reason). I realized I forgot to pay for my coffee! Feeling more foolish, we went back and I paid. "That's fine, that's fine," I was told, and my tip was refused.

I could write a ton just about little differences in culture and objects here. Here are some small things: tipping is acceptable, but not expected. Chris offended someone by giving too large a tip. Prices are always listed tax included. Sometimes there are people sitting outside of bathrooms: they are the people that clean the bathrooms, and they do want tips. There is much more concern here for energy/water conservation. In apartment buildings, stairwells aren't lit 24 hours: there are little buttons which you press to give you light for about 20 seconds. Toilets aren't big bowls filled with water, and many of them have on/off switches so you can control how much water is used to flush. Driving around, we see windfarms all over (driving with cheese on bread I think we only saw one in all of the US we drove through). All the cities we have been to have great accommodations for bicycles (lanes, parking places). Of course, more and more, but I'll move on.

We went to the WoWz show, and it was really great of course. I wish we could have played there as well, but didn't mind too much. That night we went to sleep knowing that the next morning we were to head to Hamburg to play our first show after a drive. The plan was to depart at 10am.

I woke up around 9:15 and called Sibsi (I was at his place, he wasn't there). He said the plan had changed, they weren't yet able to get the van because they needed HiKool to sign some papers first. We soon enough got the van, which is huge! It seats nine not uncomfortably, with more than enough space for all our packs and gear. After collecting everybody, we were off onto the German highways.

The van ride itself wasn't very eventful (luckily). Some were nervous about the driving, but generally everyone was just a bit tired. We got into Hamburg, and pulled up to the club, Hasenschaukel. We unloaded, and again, everybody was really helpful to us. Before the show we wandered down the strip, which was just a bunch of sex shops and strip joints. The shows went well, ended at 11pm. We hung out and then headed over to Hannah and Romy's house, where we stayed. They are friends of Hi Kools and totally silly. They had a friend named "Sassy". They all hung out for a bit, then went to a bar. I stayed with Neil and we talked and played guitar. Eventually everyone came back from the bar and was really loud. That's when I began to head to bed.

The next morning we had breakfast in Hamburg, in a less sexualized part of town. Then we were off to the Netherlands.

This past weekend New York City had beautiful weather. I wore t shirts. Deenah and I tossed a frisbee in Tompkins Square Park. Walking walking walking. I was very happy to see New York Springtime.

Monday got dreary though. Drizzle. I ran last minute errands and then Deenah and I had a meal at Quantum Leap, and she saw me off at West 4th Street Station. All the goodbyes I experienced in the past week seemed so unreal. They all felt like goodbye forever. But with this last goodbye, I realized I'd be back in town soon enough.

My experience of time has been so skewed over the past couple of weeks. If I can figure out how to articulate it I will. But it's very inconsistent - stretched and compressed at different points.

I've never taken the A Train to JFK Airport, but it was very easy. The only trouble was some character had gotten on the track in front of us and delayed us for 20 minutes. When I got to the Airtrain, I rode to my terminal and watched the seagulls flying with the airplanes in the cloudy sky. I was actually going to get on this plane I had been talking about for weeks.

Airport security was either incredibly efficient or pathetic - it took no time at all. My plane took off around 6:30 and I was off. I couldn't sleep on the plane (I'm in Berlin now and still haven't) and worked on a zine I figured would occupy my time and read The DaVinci Code which I bought because I didn't have any other books. It's effortless to read, which I was surprised by since I haven't read a novel like that in a long time.

The flight was largely uneventful. I transferred in Amsterdam to my Berlin flight. Everything was English there, I was kind of confused by it because it was clearly not the US - more bright colors. The bathroom made more sense - stalls went all the way to the floor, and the automatic flushing didn't happen three times when I used the toilet.

Finally arriving Berlin, I was greeted by Simon and Sibsi. Was really nice to see familiar faces after hours of being strangely awake in planes. We took the bus and subway (which were both really fast) to Kreuzberg, where Sibsi lives. We stopped by Andre and Clemence's apartment. Johnny, Sam and Chris were all there as well. Seeing these people is grounding, but I'm still so tired and jetlagged that I haven't fully accepted where I am. I could wake up in New York and think "that was a weird dream".

I've not yet seen Neil or Dashan. But we have our first show tonight, I think we're meeting up there.

I'm preparing for my last solo performance on this continent until June. It seems everything I do is in relation to my leaving and coming back. I'm looking forward to it - Preston and Betsy both said they would accompany me on some songs.

We played monday night at the Antihoot, and it was really great to have them with me. It's been so long since they've played with me. I don't know why I let that stop, but I'm really excited about tonight.

I've been working on my computer a lot, which has been both rewarding and tormenting. I thought when I quit my job I would stop working on my computer, but rather I'm just coming up with more projects to do. I feel like I'm meant to work on software, it puts me into focus more than anything else does. Which is good, but a bit scary. Focus.

I'm leaving for Europe in less than two weeks. Worlds collide. When a young Sebastian Hoffman arrived at my door on a Wednesday afternoon, I realized that I would probably be arriving at his door on April 4th. Distant doors in different lands.

I have found a subletter. A stranger will be living in my room for a bit. She seems nice.

Bernard says when you quit your job, you become busier than ever, because you realize that all the time is yours. It's kind of true I think. I have been making more music with people than ever I think. It's exciting.

I feel like I have a lot to do before I leave, but I probably don't really.

Monday evening a week ago I was at Huggabroomstik rehearsal, and about half way through everyone sat down to take a break. When I stood up I started to feel really cold, and feel really exhausted. But at the end of practice I realized I was really sick.

I ended up staying in bed for the majority of the time between then and Saturday morning. It was supposed to be my last week of work, but I missed it all. But I was miraculously doing better Saturday. But I went to Old Hat practice and performed with Cheese on Bread. The show went so well, and it made me so happy, that I just started feeling so much better afterwards. One of the best shows we've had in a while, I think.

And then Sunday evening I was back at Sidewalk for a solo show. I was the closing act of the festival. I felt like I was not doing a very good job, but Bernard gave me a tape of the show, and it's pretty good despite the fact that I didn't practice since I was sick all week. It was fun.

Monday was my last day at work. Very anti climactic. I was so excited to have a last day at work, and then it came three days later, after not having been there for over a week. Oh well. I finished some tasks up for them and it was nice to leave on good terms.

Today and yesterday, Matt Keesan and I have been working together on our web application which we've been developing for a music studio. It's mostly together, and I'm proud of it. It is fun to work on a computer project alongside a friend. Today we took over Dan and Betsy's apartment as an office. Yesterday we spent a good day in more southern Brooklyn, stopping by various Cafes for internet.

We did a fair amount of walking yesterday, it reminded me a bit of our day in Toledo, Ohio over the summer. Matt and I were up earlyish for some reason, and we walked through town to get to the public library. The early morning walk with Matt is a good thing. In Toledo we got to the library and checked email and whatnot. I sat next to a guy who was "having" cybersex in yahoo messenger. He was rubbing his crotch. I was only slightly uncomfortable with that.

That is what I have been doing the past week. A little over a month from now I'm going to fly to Berlin to play shows in Germany with Huggabroomstik. I'm very excited. I bought my tickets.

"Can anyone spare a dollar for some food? Can anyone spare a dollar for some food?"

"You can have the rest of my soup, I only had half of it."

"What is it? Soup?"

"Yeah."

"No."

"..."

"Could you just give me a dollar?"

"I spent the rest of my money on the soup." (True. I had three dollars, got the soup, and was given a roll for the remaining 50 cents.)

"No. You enjoy that. Can anyone spare a dollar for some food?"