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For about a week I've been bicycling to work in the mornings. I haven't been killed yet, which is good. But I think the best part about it is that it wakes me up. I arrive and feel very alert. I haven't been drinking tea to lift me up in the morning, and I haven't really needed it. Partly because it's much more physical activity than I normally do, but I think it's also because I'm avoiding the subway.

The subway ride is always very tiring. Standing in a dim tunnel with a bunch of other people who don't want to be standing in a dim tunnel. Then getting in a car filled with people sleeping, or wanting to be sleeping. And the background groaning of the train. The waiting. Much more exhausting.

This entry is dedicated to Nan Turner, who is at work and needs things to read.

I have returned from tour with Cheese On Bread, which held in store anything and everything one could possibly imagine. There is a small store of pictures which show off mostly our days off, they were taken by Matt.

Once getting back to New York, I felt pretty good to be home. The next day, I got pretty depressed though. I've never spent so much time with one set of people, and I immediately began to miss them all. It was quite depressing. One day Dan and I ran into each other, and we pretended to run important errands (went to KMart and bought razor blades). Afterwards, we sat on a park bench and wondered how we would ever go back to our normal lives. We wrote a comic book about the first week of tour. I guess that was a good way to handle it.

Since then, I've recovered, but I still miss everyone terribly. I think I'll be going to Philadelphia next week to visit the Philly Cheese On Bread crew, and Friday I'm going to stop by Emandee studios, where the Bloodsugars are recording.

In less than two weeks, I'm going to be back at work, being bored and looking for things to read online. Yikes!

I've been in Philadelphia for days rehearsing with Cheese On Bread. We are embarking on a month long tour today. It is crazy, I think. I am excited, and won't have a home for over a month. I've never lived like that before.

I left my cassette tape recorder at Sidewalk Cafe last night. Around 2 am I called to ask if they had found it. The manager said "hold on."

Then Hannah picked up, "Is this Bernard?"

Epilogue:

They didn't have it, I'll call tomorrow to see if it's in the soundbooth or something.

I gave blood a little bit ago. I've been getting telephone calls for two years from the New York Blood Center asking me to donate. (My last donation was two years ago, when they set up shop in the building I lived in)

Giving blood is pretty interesting. The way you can feel your life being pulled out of you. I find some pains exhilirating. This feels more like dying though. Sinking.

It kind of puzzles me why one would want to give blood. Clearly to do something good. Or to stop getting phone calls.

Or some other stranger reason. Because before being stuck, you have to fill out a questionnaire, and once that's done you are told to put a barcode on the form. There are two to chose from: one if you lied, labeled "DO NOT TRANSFUSE" and one for those who told the truth, or are lying even more labeled "TRANSFUSE MY BLOOD". The barcode prevents the people handling the form from knowing your choice (you put the barcode on, but not the text).

I find it funny that there is even an option, because if you choose "DO NOT TRANSFUSE" it means that you are telling them not to user your blood, but you are going to give it to them anyway.

I like walking in midtown Manhattan when it's dark outside. Two summer's ago I would walk from Sidewalk Cafe to Penn Station every Monday night/Tuesday morning around 4am. It was always very calm, and it reminded me of scenes from movies about a rundown New York City. Dark, dirty, and generally unpleasant.

But the walk was always a good way to finish out a long day. Two nights ago I walked to Union Square from the Penn Station area, around 10:30pm. The only real difference at this time is that there are more people out. I saw a homeless man sitting on the street, and he asked for change. When I told him "sorry, not tonight" I looked him in the eyes, which was out of the ordinary for me, and smiling he said "that's alright, god bless you."

Walking! What a pleasant activity.

song for download- o misha

i've had this song for a bit, but i just did another recording today. i think it's the best one.

I'm at work, and I checked out my site in Internet Explorer by accident (I know, it doesn't look so good in it, I hope to fix it one day, but it looks much better in browsers that try to keep to specification standards). The navigation was on the left side as it should be! How pleasant. In a previous version it was lost, but I've updated most of the site to strict XHTML. And it works. Hurrah.

The one thing I didn't change over was the automatic publishing to this section. So I just updated my templates and the text processing. All new entries will look correct now. Some day I'll fix the old ones. Baby steps.

I didn't want to write this, which is why it is the way it is.

I'm a sucker for standards.

I saw Phoebe perform tonight with the Phyllis Newman Health Initiative Dancers. It was inspiring. I have not performed solo this month: taking a break to work on my new record.

I try not to feel stressed out. Which seems stupid to say, but I know plenty of folks who stress themselves out. I have been feeling stressed this week. Friday I'm playing some songs for the Boog City tribute to Hair. I feel totally overwhelmed by the songs due to their length and content.

It's been fun learning the songs though. The chords remind me of things that I used to try more with guitar. I used to try to use chords that I wouldn't play normally - it helped teach me chords and get more interesting (or at least unusual) sounds. I feel like recently I haven't been doing enough of that, so I feel inspired by the music for these songs. Changes happen that I don't really expect, and it feels good.

Everything seems to be calming and changing. I suppose that's always the case, isn't it?

song for download: cassettes and canisters